Thursday, October 3, 2013


Lola's teacher informed me today that Lola prayer for Mae aloud in the class last week.  She prayed for God to watch over Mae and all the other children that couldn't come home with her.  I just love my Lola Lou.

It's really strange to describe my feelings for Mae.  Lola and I talk about her all the time... we wonder about her birth day, about her mom, her caretakers, her face... she's already been fused to my soul.  And apparently Lola's too.

We are about to be exactly one year out from when we can turn in our application.  Glad MaeBeSew is keeping me even busier and my mind and heart focused on my loves.  (All my babies, sewing and helping to take care of our family!)

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Grab a cup of coffee....

I keep sitting down to blog- I write, then erase, and think later I will post.

I have a lot in my mind right now.  Heavy things.  Things that your heart carries, along with your head, and body.

I think daily about my baby girl in China.  I feel a connection that doesn't seem possible because there is nothing known yet, but it's there.  I think God plays a big part in that.  Clay and I will be (the plan) applying to adopt next fall from China.  We are adopting a girl.  And we will go through the Waiting Child program, which means she will need some medical attention, rather a little or maybe a lot, when she returns.  Lots of prayers through these tough decisions that will come up next year.

Lola and I talk about her baby sister alllll the time.  She told a stranger the other day "We are buying a baby from China."  Um, eek.  Sounded suspicious. I explained to her that we are paying someone to help us bring her home, but she is, just like Lola and Oliver, priceless.  Lola is just so excited.  We still work on the words for her to use and understanding how adoption will look for our family.  (She only knows about the money aspect bc of MaeBeSew which is mentioned later...)  She desperately wants a little sis.  She really is a great big sister to Oliver and was designed for the role of big sister.  She'll be a great big sister to another sibling.  Sometimes we freak Clay out, when we talk about it so much and openly... that might be a concern, but he was the same way through both pregnancies, which makes me laugh just thinking of it- we definitely are excited about adopting our next child.

I find it so moving that lately, through a series of events and relationships, my mom has really developed a heart for orphans.  It's nice to see that passion spread through the family, or at least mom so far, as my own heart can be consumed by the idea that there's all these very deserving children of homes they may never get or need sooner rather than later.  I hear stories of orphans, of all ages, that are fighters, survivors and in some of the worst circumstances imaginable. (Some are very well taken care of too!) Lola and I have been talking, along with others in my life, that Mae, which is the name we have picked for her, could be born around this time.  I have been praying for her, her mother, her family, and her caregivers.  Her health, her care, her spirit.  I countdown till when we can apply.  China has age requirements (30).  We are working on the other requirements being met before then.  And we will be fundraising as well.        

With that being said, I have accidentally started a business.  And it seemed like a giant push from God.  So I am doing my best to build it.  Take is seriously.  And make it work for us.  I made a baby doll for a sweet friend as baby gift and turns out, they were a hit.  I had 17+ orders pretty much immediately.  I was also already selling some hoop art... I felt overwhelmed with the notion that it was time to sell things I was passionate about making, creating, or even buying.  I named by business MaeBeSew.  (Maybe So)  Play on words of Mae's name and Sew- Pretty soon I shall have a couple websites with my items for sale.  Right now I am catching up on orders (almost done!) and then will be stocking for a holiday craft show I hope to be a part of.  Excited to see how God uses this for our family.  This will all be a part of bringing Mae home.

Two big things out of the way, now the third.  We are moving.  Maybe in three weeks, maybe in three months.  We have a contract on a home and if all goes well, it will be ours.  I am very excited.  But nervous.  I love our home now.  This home is all Lola and Oliver know and Clay and I for that matter.   And my home is such a part of my heart.  But my heart is my family.  Moving is the best decision for everyone.  The idea of new home, makes my heart feel a little shaken, but  it's comforting thinking the new home will be where we bring Mae home to.  Giddy.  We will make our new home our own, and I think we will really enjoy the process of it.  It's been decided that I house hunt like my mother, and house buy like my father.  Clay and I are a pretty good team when it comes to this whole process.  A good balance.  I love him.

Family talk.

Oliver had his well child visit today.  He is 18 months.  Wow!  He weighed 26 pounds.  He is smart, smart, smart.  He communicates very well considering he's not much of a talker.  We've had a small issue with choking again, and with his history of suck/swallow problems and being considered a delayed talker, our pediatrician is sending us to get everything checked out.  Better to know than not.  Better safe than sorry. He's a momma's boy.  How could he not be though?  He's become quite affectionate over the past couple months and guess who loves that?! EVERYONE, especially me.  I eat it up.  And so does Lola.  Lola at his age went to PDO, but Oliver does not.  I thought it was best not to this year.  Funny how each kid needs their own drum to beat to, a different parenting style.  Carmen still watches him weekly and they are quite cute together.  I love watching Oliver run (prance), crack up at Lola in the backseat, eat pop-corn by the handfuls, blow kisses from the corner of his crib, and wave only to strangers.  I still give him a bottle at night and enjoy the quiet time to snuggle.  He still wakes up at night, sometimes needing me, other times just playing for a bit.  He has all his teeth but his back 2-year old molars.  He is an awesome eater.  Loves veggies like his Daddy.  He has a temper, a loud cry, and touches things he knows he shouldn't.  He's quick to recognize emotions (like mine) and is quite insightful.  He loves saying "car."  He can say a few other words, but has more important things to focus on, like big sister's crazy moves.  He loves doing what she does.  Cartwheels, playing hide-and-seek, eating in a big boy chair, wearing shoes, dancing, etc... He has been my little monster since he was in my belly, before we knew he was a boy.  And he really is.  I never knew how a boy, even at times a challenging one, could captivate my heart.  He does.  I love it. I love him.

Lola is 4.5.  How could that be?  I see her growing up so fast.  It's crazy, because she was the best baby and toddler EVER.  I just could eat those years up over and over, but I love seeing her continue to grow and develop into her own.  A few times lately, she has rolled her eyes as a natural reaction, and I crack up. (Bad parenting?)  Not that it's cool or respectful, but she's 4.  When I call her out on it, she then tries to do it again, intentionally, and can't.  It's funny.  I didn't know rolling your eyes at your parents was a natural reaction all kids possess.  She is through and through a really good girl though.  She has such a good balance of qualities.  I hope she continues to stay balanced.  She's bossy (has good leadership skills as her daddy says) and a good delegator, yet compassionate, nurturing, and caring.  She's discerning and reads people really well. She is honest.  She is loyal.  Girlfriend knows how to negotiate.  She also knows how to compromise.  She honestly is a great mix of her dad and myself.  She loves being crafty.  We spend a lot of time in our craft room together, especially since I am sewing so much more now.  I love hearing her sing "I've got the JOY JOY JOY down in my heart" as she colors beautiful pictures.  She keeps things in perspective for me.  She has been an awesome sleeper the past year.  She is by far, by far, a morning person.  She is typically ready for bed around 7:15 p.m.  Not my night owl.  She loves, loves her Barbies.  It may be one of her favorite things.  If someone will sit on the floor and play barbies creatively, uninterrupted for awhile with her, they might be friends for life.  She could play Barbies for hours with her favorite people.  School has started back up and love seeing her with her friends and teachers.  She seems like a good student.  She definitely has a passion for learning.  And she still loves her Bible.  Now that, I hope she never outgrows.  I am so blessed and glad God choose her as our first.  What a perfect role for her.  Love my little chatter box. Oh I didn't mention that? ;)  Now I kind of want to wake her up... Crazy mother I can be.

I feel like Clay and I, together as one, are on a different path than we've been on in the past... maybe it's the two kids, instead of one, maybe it's big decisions happening, but whatever it is.  I like it. My heart feels settle and comforted knowing he's by my side.  He may prefer to be left out of instagram pics, fb post and blog post- but it's no reflection on the love we all have for him. He's our rock. He's our man. And he's handsome.  

I finally won't erase a post.  It felt good. I love that myself or the kids can look back and read this one day.  Will they?  Kids if you do, please don't wait till I'm dead.  I want to see your reactions.  And for the record... I love you each so much that it's absolutely immeasurable and unconditional, but because your each different, it looks different from child-to-child.  That's okay.  Love you all!


Monday, July 8, 2013

Lola's Birthday Party & Dance Recital

So I am prioritizing catching up- 

First things first- Lola turning 4.  I am loving seeing her grow and become a little adult.  So much personality, so much to say, so much to learn. She's busy.  I like that.  She's going to keep me young. And maybe deaf. ;) 

Her first gift was a Bible. She has been wanting a big girl bible and loves this particular one at school, so we went with it! (And a few others for me to read to her from.) She was so happy.  It melted my heart.  This girl has a natural faith.  I love that.  Goes well with her happy heart. 

Her birthday was at Chick-fil-A and it was perfect.  We invited her school friends this year and had a Minnie Mouse theme happening.  I like changing her parties up- so throwing in a classic Chick-fil-A party was a must.  She was blessed with so much love, so many friends, and lots of gifts!  

I had to add these.  What a happy girl enjoying every gift she opened!

 Happy Birthday Big Girl! 
(A big thanks to Nonna for helping make the cake since I had a bad hand! I had a vision that I was determined to make happen.  The icing is all creamy except minnie mouses and polka dots- that is marshmallow fondant.)

 Excited?? :)

El Fenix was her choice for dinner!  The girl had a perfect day! :)  And she deserved it!! 

Girl tore it up!!! Woohoo! She definitely loves being on stage, loves dance, loves her dance teacher, and doesn't mind her costumes! 

Back stage before dance recital!  Her and Kaylee!! 

All done!! And I was most proud of her Bible Scholar award!!! Fit her perfectly!

She did great!  I was so proud of her.  Melt. My. Heart. 

I never care what she wants to be passionate about- I just want her to be passionate and always willing to try new things.  So proud of her for dancing this year and performing in two recitals.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Lola is the also known as 4 now!

My baby girl is now 4.  It seems fitting to her enormous personality and sweet heart that she is 4.  I feel like she is 4 going on 16 though.  It seriously frightens me.  Not 16.  That's too old.  Luckily she's not 4 going on 16 and I have 12 more years. Phew.

I want to write about her and her party, but will have to a bit later.  I was doing some kitchen demolition by myself and have stitches across the palm of my hand and a bad finger.  Typing isn't feeling good to my hand and typing one handed is already frustrating me- and you know me.  I have a lot to say about my baby girl turning 4.  And how great she is.

Here's my cut.  And my finger and top of my hand hurts way worse than the cut, but the cut/stitches make me real nauseated.  But it all hurts.  And sucks.  I took the stitches out myself on day 10 and that was too early so now I have surgical tape strips holding it together.  It was a pretty good cut, possibly by a nail going down my palm.  Not sure.  It happened so fast. It's getting better.  Feels like the slowly but surely type thing. Blah, blah, blah.  (Funny enough it followed that natural line.wrinkle in your hand.)  

Can't wait to put pictures of Lola up and her sweet party.  And talk about all of her goodness.  There's a lot! The party girl finally made it to her own party! Woohoo! 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Happy Birthday Ollie Bear!

Your one year old birthday finally has come and gone.  It was so bittersweet for me.  While you were sick and cried nonstop for months, your daddy and I would always say "If we can just make it till your one, this will all be behind us. Just a memory. Maybe we will even have forgotten how bad the cries were."  We haven't forgotten, but we certainly have moved forward.  Yay! You are so big now.  You really remind me of your dad.  You observe quietly.  You interact better one-on-one.  You speak big when you have your space, things on your terms, and lots of trust.  And you love Nicky.  You are still very quiet in terms of babbling and talking.  No real words.  Although you definitely make a lot of boy noises.  Grunts.  Sighs.  And demands.  You love to cruise furniture, but haven't taken any steps of faith yet.  You have gotten aggressive with Lola.  We knew the day was coming.  You adore Lola, but when you have had enough- you sure have ways of letting her know.  You also get jealous when I am loving on Lola.  Today you tried to push her off my lap and you sat down on my leg.  Haha- good thing there was plenty of room for both of you!  You are starting to get better about not being such a momma's boy.  You seem to finally be warming up to Nonna too, which I am glad, but it was quite funny.  You also are warming up to your daddy too!  You blow him kisses when he gets home and wave bye-bye to him when he leaves.  You've realized he's a good floor player! 

Right now you have 102 fever.  Not sure what's going on, but hopefully you'll feel better soon!  Next week you have your well child visit so I will know your weight and height and percentage... you also have your allergist visit which seems long overdue.  We can hopefully get some better answers on all these food allergies/issues.  You break out in hives to Milk and it affects your attitude/demeanor.  It seems to be a true allergy at this point.  Seeing how you react to eating bread with a tiny bit of milk makes me understand why you cried so much and felt so bad as a baby on formula that still had milk protein in it.  Makes me sad.  (That was Nutramigen- you ended up on Elecare, amino acid based.)  

So you are still taking bottles, still on Elecare after some concerns with Almond milk, you still wake up for night feedings, you refuse to wear shoes, you rock at sleeping in your bed- so here's the deal: you are still my baby.  No toddler stuff yet!  I have enjoyed this prolonged baby stage.  I know how quickly it goes, so I am enjoying it all.  I even enjoy the 4 am feedings when the house is all quiet and you fall back asleep on my chest.  Your bed is sentimental.  It's where I always feed you.  Your crib is sentimental because you sleep so good in it and it has horrible teeth mark all the way around it.  Your sound machine is sentimental because it plays a horrible vacuum type noise every night and shines an image on the ceiling.  It's very helpful to you.  You are a blanket boy.  You sleep with 1-3 every night and we take one with us now everywhere because it helps soothe you instantly.  It's pretty cute.  Your sister never had a blanket or stuffed friend.  I am glad you do.  Interested to see if you and sis stay opposite or not.  I imagine so.  Hope y'all are sweet siblings and get along.  

Your party was so much fun and everyone was so excited! (Pictures are a mess and out of order and not edited. :(  But hey, they are up!)

(I like to add me in so I can see what I looked like when the kids were young and so was I!)

He LOVES his car!  Perfect present for him!  My online review readings paid off this time! Hehehe-

Faced scratch from a grocery fight with the buggy.  Eeek.

Next up: Lola Lou!