Suck-Swallow Study...

Oliver had his study done today and ate really good.  He always shows off at these appointments and makes me look crazy, but despite doing his best- it was still very clear that he has a very weak suck reflex.  He also showed a lot of liquid "jiggling" where there should be no movement, but going straight down.  She said it appears he is refluxing as he eats so while liquid is trying to go down, other liquid is trying to come up and he chokes.  He will now have physical therapy for feeding twice a week.  It may take a couple weeks to get it started though.

He had an extremely bad choking episode and I am still kicking myself for not calling 911because it took at least 2 and half minutes to resolve.  His lips were completely blue-purple. He finally forcefully threw up to unchoke himself and sounded so bubbly and wheezy for awhile afterwards.  Since then he hasn't finished a whole bottle.  It's been 24 hours.  Today they said bad choking episodes can take a little while before they really want to go after a bottle.  He was starving at the swallow-suck study but would only take 2 ounces.  :(  She told me next time, not to wait- to just dial 911.  Better safe than sorry and I agree.

After today, she also is recommending a physical therapy evaluation to check out all his milestones and motor skills, etc... And lastly, it is her opinion that we should get a neurological exam.  Dr. S had in her notes the possibility of this based off our last visit, so now that two professionals have this on their radar, I would most definitely like to do this.  Today she said with a baby like Oliver it is important to cross all of our t's and dot all of our i's and I am all for this attitude and plan.  At these appointments, they are around Oliver for at least an hour, instead of 5 minutes like a pediatrician appointment which I like.  They hold him, interact with him and see a lot of moods from him.  It is still just a glimpse compared to what I see, but it's so much better on helping them understand him and me.

I am sure I will see Dr. S very soon and have more information and hopefully a revised game plan for O and better address the reflux as well.  I am hoping neurologically we get everything checked out and praying nothing is wrong. As many struggles as Ollie has had, I know God made him just as he needed to be and God is teaching me how to be a better mom, more patient, and have a loving attitude with my children. I hate for Oliver sake's his first several months have involved so much crying and formula his body was allergic to, but glad we are on the right path.  I'll always fight for my babies.

Lola is seriously the best big sister ever.  I really can't imagine Oliver having a better sister than she is to him.  She is so darn loving and sweet to him.  Every once in awhile she throws a sneaky move his way, but she wouldn't be a true sister if she didn't.  Hehehe...  She talks to him in a funny voice, which cracks me up because it's really her imitating the way I talk to him.  I talk much more baby-like to Oliver than I did Lola, but Lola acted all grown up from the get go! He woke up from a nap and stretched real big and Lola came running to his side and said "that was just the biggest baby stretch ever boo-boo!" in her imitation voice.

I feel bad for Lola because I am so drained right now and at night when Clay gets home, he plays with Lola because Oliver is still so needy at night.  I want Clay to play with Oliver so I can play with Lola.  I try not to let it hinder some of our day activities and depending on how much sleep I get depends on how good the day goes usually.  I am so glad she is about to start school again.  I think she will really enjoy school and dance this year and hopefully will be getting her in gymnastics too.  We picked out her fabric for her backpack yesterday and I need to go back to make her a small princess quilt for her "quiet time" after lunch.  Princesses, barbies, and babies are the craze around her.

Oliver only slept an hour today so when I finally got him down at 5:30 after resetting him with a bath, Clay got home and took Lola on a dinner date.  She was so excited.  She is wearing my dress, which I sewed to fit her now.  It's long and flow-y like Aunt Kebby's.  :)  Just what she wanted.  I am bouncing O while I fill the world in on him- and him in on himself in 25 years.  When he has a kid and has payback and says "no way was I like this" I'll refer him right on over to these posts.  :)    

Need to post the beach pictures because they are adorable.  :)

 

'C' to the 'OLIC'

It's been way too long since my last post and it makes me sad.  I love journaling. And I really regret not blogging more with Oliver here, but you know what- this kid has taken full priority in this household and everyone is sacrificing, even little Lo.  (Can't wait to post on Lola because she is a smart, loving little stinker right now! That will be next!)


I guess it's inevitable I spill my guts on colic.  But what to title this?  "Shit on colic." "Save us God." "I still love you O." Who knows.  I'll decide later...

Colic is totally mind-boggling. Frustrating. Exhausting. Disheartening. Depressing.  Draining. Time consuming. Schedule imposing. Sacrificing.

I think when it is paired with anything else, it's worsened.

Does this mean I will have an easy toddler boy who sleeps in his bed for 12 hours, potty-trains like a champ and never misses the toilet and brings me flowers from the outside flowerbed?



Anytime you have a baby who isn't happy, you think has colic or an underlying problem- I would suggest to first hunt for a good doctor then the right formula. (If breastfeeding, great... but in our case, 8 week case to be exact- it didn't seem to ever suit him and me going completely dairy free is a joke since that's 90% of what I eat.)  Oliver has been diagnosed with a milk protein allergy.  {Along with 'colic' and reflux.} After Nutramigen didn't continue to yield good results and he started projectile spitting it up- our old doctor (pretty crappy one) said that we should just try Similac since Nutramigen (a hypoallergenic formula) was obviously not worth the money.  We first tried Goodstart Gentle.  No good.  Things got worse the second week on it- like WAYYY worse.  Cried day and night.  Landed his bottom in the ER actually.  What else was I to do?  They said they were basically making sure he wouldn't die if we left and he wouldn't.  Mom as my witness that's what they said.  Luckily, the trip was worth it because Oliver's GI doctor was out of town and another doctor was filling in and got word we were in the ER and called ME and asked if I would bring him in to her! YES! YES! YES!  We had been on Goodstart for two weeks at that point and a couple days before getting into her had switched him to Similac Sensitive (lactose free) and worse doesn't describe it people.  I hardly left the house and if I did it was just to change the scenery and hope it helped the crying cease.  I left every time Clay walked in the door from work to get a break and Clay always called me or texted me letting me know he was screaming and to help walk him through it.  What do I say? "Good luck buddy, I've tried all day."  As much as I was worn out emotionally, physically, and mentally, I still had a real fighting attitude to get to the bottom of this and did not accept colic solely as the cause.  I was really hoping this doctor could help, but had low expectations at this point. Side story- I would tell Clay at night to take him outside to see if it would break the crying but even if it didn't at least the house was quiet for a moment.  Clay didn't like taking him outside because it literally caused neighbors to walk out on their porches to see what was going down... but colic makes me mean.  And I just firmly believed they could deal with it for 5 minutes as we tried anything and everything to stop the crying.

Colic is described along these lines: three hours of crying, typically at the same time of day, for more than 3 days a week, for several weeks.... but Ollie was all day and night until we finally got him down around midnight.

Back to new doctor, Dr. S.  She saw Oliver and spent a LONG time with us.  I loved her because she seemed human.  Just like me.  Normal, nice, caring and listened and watched a lot.  She held Oliver for a long time, played with him, fed him, got spit up on- the whole nine yards. I told her she was the first GI doctor to exam him physically.  Lola was there too and was absolutely wonderful.  Talkative, but wonderful.  I am so glad walls listen ;)  Dr. S also listened. I listed everything to see if any connections could be made and I told her like I told 3 other doctors that he didn't take a bottle good, would choke, couldn't go beyond a level 1 nipple and despite wanting a paci could not suck on it.  Within 5 minutes a speech specialist was in the room and 30 seconds later a suck-swallow study was ordered because she immediately said he was lacking his sucking reflex. She seemed alarmed.  I think I was so stunned how fast all that went down and ultimately how easy it was to get done, that I failed to ask my million and one questions.  More on this soon- Dr. S gave us a prescription formula which is amino acid based versus any kind of milk protein, called EleCare.  Since we had only been on Similac for 3 days, we had to give it a few more days to make sure it didn't kick in and help... I could tell she was pretty confident we would be on EleCare.  On day 5 of Similac- came the rash.  It was kind of a great thing because it made the milk protein allergy more definite.  Oliver, when on Nutramigen, was still able to detect the milk protein in it which the doctor did say that can happen with some babies.  Explains why the hypoallergenic formula, wasn't so hypoallergenic for him after all.  So when the rash appeared we busted open the EleCare cans... starting seeing good moments and good days with a few days on it, but still off and on.  A tad over two weeks later- {today} I am seeing an incredible difference. His colic still seems to be present, but if I am with him at night- he doesn't cry much- if I am not there- he cries nonstop.  

Definitely a momma's boy at this point, yet how could he not be?  I always tell Oliver in an-annoying-talk-to-baby-voice "You are such a momma's boy because I am the only one who has loved you unconditionally so far.  Crying, screaming and clawing at your momma and I still sing to you, bounce you, try and make you laugh, bathe you and sneak you Lola's bath toys, drag you back and forth to doctors convincing them I am not crazy to take a closer look, sneak you bananas, keep you in dry shirts despite doing four times as much laundry, change your diaper way faster than I should to try and keep you comfortable, buy every brand of gas drops to try and help your tummy (you respond to Little Tummies by the way!), and don't complain that my hair always smells like spit up." :)  

This Wednesday is his suck-swallow study... very interested to see how this plays out. I have switched his bottle to a wide neck bottle which someone told me it encourages them to open their mouth wider which we need him to close his mouth better, but after thinking about it- I decided to try it and see if it wouldn't create a better seal and forced him to suck more than chomp as well as take less air in and it does seem to have helped, but then again- the doctor is pretty much saying we have to thicken his formula until the study because of how often he chokes on it- so that could be helping too. The formula is pretty thin.  Doctor definitely has him down as colic, reflux, and milk protein allergy.  Praying insurance covers this formula- still no word on that. And praying this allergy is short lived, although knowing Lola's and now his- I am afraid he may have a list of allergies to follow.  Really hoping that isn't the case- but if he is allergic to anything else- it's best it peanuts like his sister! The airport they ask "Anything sharp in your bag?" Me: "Does an epi pen count?" :)

So the colic time for him in most certainly at night and now that he is more content, it's more obvious and the bad part is I am pretty much the cure which really means no breaks for me yet.

The first week on EleCare, my family was planning a last minute summer vacay and we had to decide if we were in or out so plane tickets could be bought and the right place be booked- I was putting a lot of faith in the EleCare and told Clay "Let's just go for it.  If he can cry here, he can cry on the beach!"  So we did.  We acted confident and brave, but every night secretly thought "what in the hell have we decided to do!?" More on vacay later (have lots of fun pics!), but let it be known Oliver was an angel.  Even on the plane during his colic time.  He had one bad night of crying but that was when Clay and I left him to go on a date.  He cried the entire time we were gone.  I walked in to my dad telling me how much he had cried and that mom was walking him around- so out the door I went to find him which didn't take long because everyone and anyone could hear him- and immediately grabbed him and you know what?  No more crying.  He looked horrible.  I felt so bad for him.  And my dad couldn't believe the crying had stopped but I think everyone was relieved.  I wished someone else could soothe him at night time, but I am just thankful I can at least. It's a nice break from not being able to for months.

Probably why I can blog right now.  I am bouncing him as he sleeps in his bouncy seat with my foot and have listened to "Somewhere over the Rainbow" by Jewel way too many times to count now.  Actually just looked at how many times it has been played and it's up to 1,022.  Jewel used to be one of my favorites but it may be awhile before I like her again ;)

One of Oliver's pediatricians told me to prepare for the colic to last 6 months and not 3 or 4.  This seems to be true.  So one more month we hit 6.  That's also when Lola's spitting up magically quit cold turkey.  It's also marks 6 weeks on EleCare. I am hoping come October- Oliver is a much happier, content, predictable baby.  And sleeping through the night wouldn't be bad either :)  Working now on breaking the bouncing habit- not sure we can break it 100%, but naps in the crib with no bouncing would be a good thing.

I'll update after Wednesday's appointment.  Thankful for improvement and look forward to more.

With all of this said, adoption has been on my heart like crazy.  I can't stand the thought of children deserving and needing love and a permanent home, do not have that.  Prayers for all the children that are in need tonight.  My hearts breaks for you.
   

Addiction

I think I am a baby addict.  I love my babies.  I like all babies, but I really really like my own.  {Of course.}  There's something so magnificent about creating a child, birthing a baby, and then raising it.  Oliver has had his fair share of kinks to work out- but goodness gracious I love him.  And you know who loves him more?  Clay?  No.  Lola.  YES!  She adores every single ounce of him.  And you know what?  That makes me love her even more.  It's a never-ending love battle of how much can I love these kiddos!  Probably too much.  Poor kiddos are going to have to deal with me in their teens. I 'll be so embarrassing.  Can't wait actually.  They have embarrassed me plenty too {already}. Lola pooping at the nicest hotel I have ever been at and had to use their nice white tablecloth to wrap us both up to conceal the poop from our head to our toes and Oliver crying so hard and long that it was impossible to hear a word the doctor had to say or anyone else for that matter making me feel like the world's worst mother.  All the pity stares were appreciated both days.

Anyways- Lola had dance camp this week and talk about cute?  DARN CUTE.  I almost cried seeing her in a little ballet outfit because she looked so big yet still so small.  Does that make sense to other moms out there?  And when I picked her up each day instead of telling me all about her morning, she asked all about Oliver's morning then proceeded to tell me about hers.  I was feeling a little sad for her that she didn't get a little sister (yet) like she wanted, but I am beginning to think God knew what he was doing after all (okay, maybe I trusted that all along hence not needing to know the sex) because she sure does love him and he sure does seem to be into her as well.  Maybe she needed a brother instead first. She still reminds me we are having a girl, but doesn't deny her brother any big sister love.  It's the sweetest thing I have ever experienced.  Back to camp- her teacher told me how sweet Lola was about everything and anything, even when she corrected her and how she was just the most excited little girl and she had fallen in love with her.  Always good to hear someone else say something good about your child.  I still am shocked, for whatever reason, that my prayers for her to be a naturally happy person, were so answered.  Not kind of.  I mean she is so happy, all the time.  Meltdowns are rare and when they happen we know immediately she's too tired or feels real lousy.  They just are super duper rare.  Praises for that, huh?  OH! We did have one the other day...

Lola and I were going to grab some quick lunch while running errands and Clay had Oliver.  So we decided together we could try something new, so Lola and I choose Taco Bell.  She's never had it.  We go in and order and she starts second guessing not just going to Arby's.  I reassure her everything is cool.  We sit down with our food, plenty of people dining in, and I start getting her cheese dip ready and look up at her and think "Oh shit!" Within half a second she goes into this insane meltdown and what no one else could probably understand, she is saying "We should have gone to Arby's!" through these huge tears and total ugly cry.  I felt really bad for her but it was just plain embarrassing.  Went to counter and asked for a bag, loaded our food up, grabbed her hand and walked outside with her.  Buckled her crying booty in and got in the car to start the a/c and then turned around and said "What in the world was that about?"  To be honest, I understood every anxiety and tear before even asking her.  I am the same way.  Picky, picky, picky.  Trying new foods to me, even as an adult, makes me feel real similar.  It's so mental, it's crazy and I think there is probably a name for it.  I couldn't get on to her.  We talked about it and that having anxiety over something new was totally cool, but we needed to find other ways to express it than having ugly cries in the middle of Taco Bell.  She did come home and ate 4-5 bites of a soft taco before throwing up on the final bite.  Better than never trying it.  I'll take it!

So Oliver is trying so hard to roll over.  Every time I lay him on his back he immediately rolls to his side and grunts and pulls trying to roll over.  He's very persistent in his efforts.  I like this.  I think he'll get this from me.  And he is now eating applesauce!  He loves him some applesauce but still working out the spoon concept.  I think I have snapped a picture or two. Clay is in charge of feeding him solids.  I guess I don't have to explain that hence the story above.  He is now starting prevacid (compounded) along with the Zantac and also bethanancol. (sp?)  I am already feeling like the prevacid isn't working but making things worse like before, but I'll give it a week or so.  Haven't started the compounded bethanacol yet, but hoping it helps.  His reflux is so bad right now, but probably three reasons why: 1) He's two days shy of 4 months and 4 months is when reflux peaks 2) switched formula 5 days ago hoping we can get by with a cheaper formula but still sensitive one which probably reeked havoc on his system 3) teething- glad he's getting teeth early but not sure he's liking it too much.  Tylenol is our best friend.  Can't wait for reflux to be a thing of the past...

So he's eating 4-5 ounces of formula and still waking up during the night.  Sometimes he sleeps 11-12 hours with only waking once for a quick bite to eat, but other nights he sleeps way less, waking way more often.  Not always sure what you'll get, but Clay is helping out more and it helps so much.  Makes a huge difference in my energy, mood, and outlook.  It's helped them bond as well.

Shopping at Target.  This made everyone much happier.  Cute or crazy? 

Sweet boy in his babyGap.

My hair is getting long!!  I have gone almost 4.5 months with no color or cut and plan to only get it trimmed soon.  Skipping out on color for awhile.

Sweet Lola & Oliver.  Picture to right is Lola at 4 months. Wish Oliver would sit soon so we can ride in buggies easier and so he can move to the Britax carseat that doesn't snap in and out.  Hate those things.

I normally don't think they look alike but I can see some resemblance here.  Lola's hair was so cute and Oliver's has fallen out.

Lola and Momma time! :)

Snuggle bear.

Lola said she looked like a 'real mom' in this dress whatever that means but by the tone in her voice she wasn't thrilled. This is from the little girls section. She's growing all too fast.

 Speaking of growing too fast.  My ballerina is just beautiful despite a lack of grace.  Hehehe...

Sibling time for me!

I remember being disappointed when Lola fell in love with Elmo somehow.  Now we all have fallen in love with Sesame Street and so glad Oliver is already drawn to Elmo too.  

Not for sure what we are looking at but just going with it.... (Lola was swimming!)

More ballerina shots.  Can you get enough? I can't.

You'll never find this many pictures of Lola asleep in her crib.  Haha... He's got her whooped. 

Lola wanted her hair like mine... not our best dos.

Pretty boy.  Can you see the blonde?  He's got more hair than it appears bc so much is blonde.

Morning time in his chevron jammies.  He is so great in the mornings.                                                 Lola just can't wait to see him in the mornings. 

Applesauce!  He needs to sit up a tad better but doesn't stop him from eating almost the whole cup.

Can't get enough of these crib shots.  Seems crazy to me.

Me.  So cute.  I think Oliver will look like me!  Our baby pictures look real similar! 

Practice, practice, practice!

 Sleeping on the floor.

Chillin' on his side- taking a break from trying to roll over.

Lola at dance camp.

Love this picture of Oliver drooling over CFA.

Fairy cupcakes Lola and I made while Clay was out of town. 

Chillin' at home.

Friday mornings cartoons.

CAD!

So proud of her costume.  It's the small things like felt and scissors. 

She LOVED the cow!

Miss. Olivia and Mr. Oliver (Isn't she too cute!)

Tried a new hair tool to create a wave.  Liking it.

Prettiest swimmer I know.

Lola said "Momma, does this impressive you?" :) Make me laugh and love you more child.  Everything she does impressives me. Hehehe...

Smiling outside.

Boxes equals hours of fun. No kidding.

Slip-n-slides are dangerous.  Despite the picture, Lola wasn't digging it.  We changed the rules up some and made it a princess runway.

My little comic man.

Morning time with the kiddos.  Love it.  Love when we have no morning agenda and we all just eat breakfast, love on each other, watch some cartoons and clean.  Perfect morning.

One of my favorite verses in my 20's.

Was trying to work and got distracted by this happy face.  How could I get any work done in that moment?  So thankful for my job. 

Oliver staring at me before drifting off to sleep... love it.

Lola asleep with crazy hair.  How does it get so wild so fast?

Now 4 months! Each month is flying by... 

Babies in white.  Angelic.

Both kids fell asleep in car and slept almost three hours.  This was at noon.  What happened to them?  Super rare for Lola and kind of Oliver.  Glad they decided to be nice to me.

She looks so old here.  Gives me a glimpse of her in a couple more years. 

Bath time. Lola loves taking baths with him and it works well.  Can't wait till he is sitting up!!

Tummy time on my bed.

Okay so another picture overload.  I do this each time I transfer my iPhone pics over to my computer.  It's my main camera these days which I am hoping to start using my nicer one more again.  A fall goal of mine.  It's too hot to have any goals right now ;) 

My next post needs to include some house pictures because I like to show what the house looks like with each baby.  I always want to see my moms house pictures!  And I have changed some things... no surprise, huh? :)  P.S. My craft room is still my favorite room.  I love having it and it's busting at the seams... no pun intended.  Need cool organization storage and advice to better use what I have stocked away.  I am definitely a sewing/crafting hoarder.  

Okay happy Olympics... going to go to bed watch them with Clay.  Nighty night.