Shoot Me

It's after one a.m. and I am wide awake. I have been doing this over and over and it's wearing me out during the days. I don't feel comfortable taking a Tylenol PM to help me sleep because I know I could sleep through Lola crying. I could probably sleep through an earthquake. I can't seem to shut off my mind long enough to fall asleep. I find myself tired by ten p.m. but I just can't sleep. So many things on my mind, some worthy to think about and other things are just absurd and come from left field.

Tonight I have been reading all about flat head syndrome. From what I am reading Lola has a very specific kind. It's making me loose sleep now. I am calling the doctor first thing in the morning. She could need a helmet or not- it's a hard call because the best time to correct her head shape is within the next month or so with a head band or helmet. But here's the deal... in most cases the problem corrects itself by one year of age, but it's a gamble, because if it does not then it's too late to use a head band or helmet to correct the shape. Her head is pretty flat in the back which actually causes the sides of her head to look much more square and to stick out more than normal. I am sure you have noticed her big ol' head in all her adorable pictures! The helmets can be very expensive and some insurances cover it and some don't. Something we will definitely have to look into before we make a decision. I am already thinking about it, when the doctor has not even said she needs a helmet yet. I just would be surprised if he said she didn't. It seems pretty bad. And that's her mom saying that. Kind of funny because I really didn't notice her jaundice until we were under bright doctor office lights but now when I look back at pictures I think- OMG! She's such a funny color! So if I already notice her head and recognize the severity of it- it must be pretty bad. The doctor said at 2 months when I pointed it out (which I pointed it out- he didn't address it) that we would look at it at 4 months and talk about it then and see if we need to do anything about it. He said as she learns to turn and roll more she should correct the problem, but I don't see that happening. She lays on the flat spot to sleep and doesn't like to turn her head. It makes sense to me to because why would she if it is squared. Doesn't seem comfortable for her. Tomorrow I am going to get her a sleep position so I can try and put her on her side. It just makes me a little nervous, those things. I am also going to get a front carrier, probably a Bjorn. Clay has wanted one from the get go and they are a lot easier to use on the go rather than my wrap. If we have one then that can be a lot less time she spends in her car seat. I guess I will call the doctor and tell him my concerns. I'll let him decide if he wants me to bring her in before 4 months. If he wants me to wait and try repositioning techniques like I talked about then I'll definitely try my hardest to correct the problem without expensive treatments. Clay and I talked about having her sleep with us again for a month or so which would allow me to keep repositioning her, but I think we can accomplish this with a sleep positioner. I don't want her to get use to sleeping with me again. I worked hard to break that habit, even though once Clay leaves in the morning she does get in bed with me :)

So I guess I just rambled on about Lola's box head. I just worry. I really don't understand how it's so big and flat. She's held so much. Our next baby will have more tummy time and probably nap on his or her tummy. Sorry Lola, moms live and learn. At least one day when you read my online journal, you will see that your crazy little shaped head kept me up at night. It's two a.m. and you'll probably be up in four hours. Ugh. I'll go back and check on you now so I can try and turn your head again. :) How is it possible to love you so much? Even with a head like glow worm's head? It's all so irresistible.

I'll have to let you know what the Dr. says. I guess it's obvious that I will call first thing in the morning- crap- I am tempted to call now. Just so I can get some sleep. And speaking of sleep- I need some propofol... then I could get some nice sleep. awe.

Momma's coming Lola- to rotate that head of yours. Your my one and only box head baby.