Sometimes I just want to journal the old fashion way, the way we would journal five years ago... you know with a pen and paper... possibly a pencil and call it a diary.
If I did attempt a tangible diary, I wouldn't get very far. I would hate the way my handwriting looked. Has anyone notice that? The more you use computers, the worse your handwriting becomes. Seriously. It drives me nuts. My brother could possibly have better handwriting than me. When I write out a check (yes, I still use a checkbook) it looks like I have Lola paying for things. Since my handwriting is so terrible I would want to start over or I would forget what I wanted to write down since I would only be focused on trying to improve my penmanship. I guess anyway I go about having a diary I am going to get distracted. It is in my blood. Thanks mother. I am really ADHD and I have noticed how it affects 99% of the things I do in life, except Lola. I have a feeling when Lola is a tad older my ADHD will start to kick in with her too.
My organizational compulsions help the ADHD though. I redid Lola's closet yesterday while she slept. She was a fussy girl, probably do to "teething." Tylenol didn't seem to help much either. I finally got her to sleep by slow dancing her to Otis Redding on volume 35. The highest is 40. And she loves to dance. We both are secretly in love with Otis Redding, which I guess is permitted since he is no longer living. After she fell asleep, I kept his album on while I attempted to pull out everything that no longer fits Lola and reorganize what does. I took my cute little size hangers (dividers) down because everything in her closet fits her or will very soon. I organized it by shorts, pants, shirts, onesies, jumpers, dresses, and jackets. Everything else has a place in drawers. Her clothes stretch from one end of the closet to the other. I didn't think she had very many clothes, but I guess she does. BRU has a cute pair of jeans I want to buy, but I am waiting. They are only $11, but I just look at them and start sweating. It could be a long while before Lola will be in jeans. At least her closet looks super nice, with or without those silly jeans. P.S. She has a shoe rack now.
So sometimes I catch myself talking about mom type things 24/7. I try to cut it out, especially if I am with Clay, Kebby, or really any other human being. It almost seems impossible though. That's why I like Laura. We can have some great "mom" conversations that don't make me feel like a loser, but we can think up some other things to talk about that don't relate to our babies... My poor other friends have to hear all types of baby talk. They need kids, and soon.
Kebby, Lola, and I went to Ginni's real quick tonight to check in on the house progress. Real cute by the way. I was holding Lola and she kept randomly screaming at Ginni. Just quick loud burst of sounds that were funny, but also very strange. She was crazy and thank goodness she is only a few months old... she pulled it off. I still think about it because you could tell it was aimed toward Ginni. Lola must have been thinking something. I think she was trying to get more attention from Ginni. Smart girl, but that won't fly when she's older. I am in for it. I know.
I think most girls have a part of their brain that is fantasy land. Sometimes I fly away to fantasy land and forget to come back to reality. I have always been a realist. Lately I think I want to be an idealist. My brain is all kinds of screwed up. I also haven't been able to make a decision to save my life... except the other day. I real life spider was crawling on Lola's box head and without any hesitation, not one second of delay, I calmly reached for this itzy bitzy spider and flattened it between my thumb and index finger. No chance of survival and Lola's head was spider free. When it was all over, I was amazed at the "mommy moment" I just had. I no longer was thinking about the real life spider, but about the real life mom, ME! I smiled. And kept smiling all day long.
So I am now officially a stay-at-home mom who is working part-time. Did you all like that description? There is a position at CFA that is new and our stores have never had one. Unit Training Coordinator (UTC). I am taking on this role for all 3 stores and working closely with each team and Dad to develop training material and systems that will improve their stores and allow consistency and continuity between the 3. This job is one my Dad has been wanting to put into place for awhile. For someone who likes her ducks in a row, I sometimes think it is a negative thing that is a new job, because the role hasn't been defined quite yet. BUT really it's a positive thing, because it leaves a lot of room to help shape the job so it can be something that could work really well in my life and in CFA's. I start Tuesday. Nonna will watch Lola when I need to get a good stretch of work in or when I need to be in the stores. Hopefully she'll watch her two days a week and Clay can help at nights a little more. Now that Lola is getting better at entertaining herself, working during the day should be more feasible. I think it may take some practice, but I'll get use to it. We are gonna commit to 60 days and see how this looks and what it turns into. The bulk of the work in the beginning will be done from home. I'll have to keep you all posted on the new job. I am kind of nervous, which is silly, because CFA is a second home, but I feel like the job I am so qualified and good at now is being a mom, not a UTC. It will be good for me, Lola, and Clay though. I am excited.
My talented hubby will be going out of town next weekend to hang with Andrew Zimmern who has a food show on the Travel Channel. Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern, soon to be Bizarre Worlds with Andrew Zimmern. Clay is doing a story (freelance writing) for American Way Magazine (Airplane Magazine) over Andrew Zimmern and I can't wait to hear about the experience. I was going to try and catch this trip with him, to Miami, but my Maw-Maw is having surgery the day before so I am staying close by. The last trip he did for a freelance story where he traveled was while I was pretty pregnant, so I had to stay close by again. I missed a nice trip to Mexico! There is a good possibility he will be interviewing J.J. Abrams as well, so hopefully I can catch that trip in the near future... and I am hoping it will be in New York! :) I think it's cool that his writing skills land him jobs like this. Too bad this wasn't full time. Maybe one day they will offer him a job as a full-time writer. Seems like a great, interesting job. Don't get me wrong, the one he has is good and we are thankful. If I was a man, I would want a job where I traveled some. I'll have to let you all know how the trip went. The last show I watched, Zimmern ate parts of a male animal that I won't say on my blog and snakes. I hope Clay doesn't do anything that bizarre or it could cause serious problems in our hanky panky time. I feel like the show's name doesn't quite describe how bizarre the foods are and if you have a weak stomach it is probably best not to watch. I'll let you all know what Clay gets to eat and do over the next weekend.
Well Kebby just came back over and it's getting super late, so I'll end here for now. Kind of on a gross, but cool note. Sorry.