So I do realize that this might be my 50th million post today- but oh well…
I just got Lola asleep (well that was 1.5 hours ago) but just put her in my bed and was just thinking how much I so enjoy her… partly thanks to mom letting me have a recoup day on Tuesday, but even without it she still melts my heart again and again, day after day. As she is getting older I can’t tell you how much I thrive off of her… she is really learning to communicate what she wants through words, expressions, body language and not only what she wants but she really expresses genuine love. I truly will love her unconditionally all of her life- and I feel unconditional love back from her (of course this is while she is young and so I will hold on to this feeling as long as possible because one day she will be 15 and the aliens will have her) but it saddens me to think there are so many children and babies out there that despite terrible, selfish, and angry parents they still love their mommas or daddies unconditionally- for awhile anyways. I really like the show Teen Mom on MTV which is the only MTV show I watch, but the teen couple who gave their daughter to a couple they felt were better suited to raise their little girl- they should be really proud of themselves because I can’t imagine how hard of a decision that would be but they recognized that their life wasn’t best suited for the way they wanted their daughter to be raised… BUT then there is another couple (on and off again) who the mom is actually no mom at all. She completely neglects the child, yells at her constantly (same age as Lola), curses, constantly kicks the dad out of the apartment and he has more sense of how to care for this baby then she does- but you know what- that baby seems to love her. Isn’t it weird how it works? But there is a big difference in that baby’s love for her momma and Lola’s love for me (or babies and mommas like me)- our love and relationship is a solid foundation for the rest of our lives while their relationship is built on nothing- that baby will wise up- and the sad thing is she will realize that she just got gypped in life on a mom. She may always love her but I would imagine there would be an emptiness in her heart. I know not all moms, including myself, are perfect moms- but that doesn’t take away the fast that we are darn good moms.
So back to Lola- she has gotten where she takes a chair and pulls it up to the counter and climbs on it and stands so she can reach anything on our tiny little counter and she talks to me while I am in the kitchen… heart melting. She checks me for fever (I guess I did this a lot this past month) and smiles real big after gently putting her hands on my cheeks and says “Noo.” She naps in her toddler bed and comes pitter pattering down the hall to find me when she wakes up before it’s time to get up so I can rock her and her da-de (baby) back to sleep. She puts the groceries in the buggy for me and knows that it’s her job when we go to the grocery store. She cuddles into me for safety when she is scared of the doctor because she knows what went down the week before. Everyday she doesn’t something more brilliant than the day before and she amazes me. She is so smart and beautiful and I just couldn’t be more proud of the toddler she is becoming.
And I try not to speak for Clay, but I feel lately we both have been so taken back by her creative, innovative mind and how fast she learns and how well she communicates… it’s amazing being a parent…
Ugh. I hate when I stay up and have weird thought processes. Did anyone actually read through that whole thing and follow me? I guess this was one of those real journal entries I should save for an actual hardcopy journal tucked away in my nightstand. Oh well.
Mommas, what are your kids teaching you this week? Lola always teaches me patience, but this week she is teaching me about family as a whole and how good it is.