Wednesday, May 20, 2009

5 a.m. tears...

Well for the most part my hormones don't seem to be as crazy as they were the first week after having Lola... so my 5 a.m. tears are just tears of love and excitement.

Lola and I sleep on the couch together and when she wakes up for her early morning feedings, it is so cute. I have gotten were I really enjoy waking up to feed her because the time between just us two is so special and so much different from the time I have with her during the day. She is always in a great mood and seems to have so much personality as she wakes from her longer sleeping durations. She smiles and clings on to me with her tiny hands. One morning I woke and she was tickling my chest. It was so funny and sweet. But every time I feed her at this time, I then lay her down to fall back asleep and just stare at her. It amazes me God can create this baby through me (AND CLAY!). As we speak I am holding Lola and still managing to type with both hands... she is making cooing sounds (probably bc she needs to go to the bathroom) and smiling which she does when she has baby dreams, needs to poop, and sometimes I would like to think just because she saw me and recognized me. So at 5 a.m., if Clay were up, he would walk into our den finding me in a trance over Lola with tears steadily rolling down my face. I just love her so much and feel as if a tiny piece of Jesus lay with me on the couch.

Now, onto feedings. I am switching to formula. Hush to the breastfeeding fanatics. Thank goodness my mom is not one... I loved it at first. I felt so great about it, yet it shortly turned to hating it. I have several reasons for switching, and my biggest reason for not switching is to save money... but after weighing the way I felt to saving money, I choose to go ahead and switch. I am doing both breast milk and formula right now, but I am drying up faster than I would have expected. That is probably due to how little and what I eat. So by the end of the week I am sure I will have to be solely reliant on formula. Even though I decided to switch, it's been hard on me. My pediatrician (well, Lola's) was really supportive and actually made me feel a lot better about the decision and seem to agree it was probably the right move for me. Clay wasn't quite on the same page with the Dr., but he said it was my call... darn right! I don't mean to use the whole "I pushed this baby out of my vagina and I have milk leaking from my boobs" card, yet I feel this is an appropriate time to use the card! Luckily I didn't have to... he is supportive... I think. lol.

So me, my husband, and some of my friends, including Stacy!!!, are running the 10k on Thanksgiving. I am really excited about this and hope it leads to me doing a half marathon next. I think Clay is running the half marathon and not the 10K though... ya for him! Stacy might be finally writing a blog now and she may write about her journey through getting back in shape and loosing weight a long the way! I think that is a fabulous idea and really hope she blogs it all! By the way, she is back in town for the summer in a couple of weeks! Hooray!

Well Clay's birthday is Friday and I am totally excited! He'll be 25... such a manly age. Love it...

I'll write more soon. I haven't seemed to have as much time to sit and write and plus this is still one chair that really is uncomfortable!

:) Nat
Thanks to Laura for walking over 2 miles with me yesterday! I couldn't have walked it without our talking! It made it go by so fast!! Yaya!

1 comment:

Carole said...

Oh Nat don't worry about switching to formula. You do what you and Clay think is best for Lola. I remember those sweet moments of just looking in amazement at my baby and thinking I can't believe that they were really mine and so sweet and tender. Enjoy it all you are such a great mom. Can't wait to see Lola. Love you