Monday, September 7, 2009

12:45 a.m.

Worried.  Little Lola isn’t sleeping in her band tonight and hasn’t been in it all day because one of her red spots seemed blistery this morning or right on the verge of being one.  The offices are closed through the long weekend, so I just decided to leave it off today and tonight and reevaluate tomorrow morning.  I get why it blisters or gets red where it does, but I was hoping Fridays appointment would have fixed that but didn’t seem to make any difference.  It may be worse now.  Also fluid builds up in this one spot and it looks awful.  They said it may do that and it was okay, but doesn’t seem okay to me.  She is doing pretty good in it except at night and any time we lay her down on her back.  For the life of me I couldn’t get her to move her head to either side when she wears it and is laying down.  It’s like she is paralyzed all of a sudden.  I tried toys, pacifiers, tickling, and playing, but nothing.  If I lay her down and turn her head she leaves it and if it’s facing straight up then she won’t turn it.  The other night she was facing towards the right and must have gotten a cramp but couldn’t move her head, and was bawling.  When I moved her head straight, which made her scream more, she seemed to relax after a minute and went back to sleep.  That morning I took it off and gave her a break. 

I don’t see this getting easier, so hopefully it will.  I hate she isn’t wearing it full time yet, because she should be, but of course I can’t let her get blisters or worse, infections or anything. 

Clay is real good about it until this stuff comes up because he just thinks she shouldn’t wear it and we shouldn’t have done it.  Doesn’t make me feel good, because moms always want the best for their child and if this works, I think we will all be glad, but if it doesn’t, then this will SUCK… can I say SUCK A?  Probably not, scratch that.  I just want to make a good decision.  I tell myself…

Natalie, don’t worry.  You made a great decision in getting the band and there is just going to be an adjustment period, but it will all work out and hopefully in 6-8 weeks, like they said, this will all be behind you and you’ll be so thankful for the results.  This is just a long weekend and next week you can go everyday if it isn’t right until it is.  Just give Lola a break from it so she can let her spots fade, and we can start fresh on Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. 

Ugh… if only it were that easy to make myself feel better.  (Slightly laughing)

I just desperately ask for little prayers for Lola to adjust better to the Band.  I need little angels to teach her to turn her head since I can’t so she can have more freedom wearing it  They protected her eyes you know.  And I need them to kiss those red spots and make them all better and pray none return.  They are setting us back.  I also hope the fluid build up stops. 

Lola seems to be growing so much right now, I don’t want to hit a big growth spurt and miss an opportunity for improvement because we can’t get her red spots under control.  She just went up an ounce on her bottles too and is eating cereal and baby food.  She is just a growing girl.

Thanks for support and thanks for those who are praying!


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